Despised returns

It is I, and i have returned. I despise being here, yet i always seem to do a full circle and end up exactly where i started. 

It is I, the one who manages to ruin everything, no matter how hard i try. 

It is I, cursed by the man of the mists, no matter how much time goes by. 

I, care about someone so much, i am worried, scared, petrified of the thought of hurting them, yet I, end up doing exactly that. 

I, know right from wrong, it is right in front of me, i can feel it, i can sense it, yet I, am blind as a bat. 

I, was always the victim of terrible people, but somehow, I, became the very thing i despised the most. 

I, i, i... am confused, lost, torn apart, disappointed in myself, for ruining something so special, hurting someone too precious.

I, thought it was too good to be true, and now i know.

I, thought life was finally giving me break, but here comes the final blow.

I, am not weak. I, am strong. Except for that one person, then i, am as fragile as a twig.

I say things, i believe them, i feel them deep in my heart, i am convinced they are true, yet i act differently.  When did i become a pig?

I, have been through getting hurt before, that's not news to me. I got used to it, even though I was delivered blow after blow.

But being on the delivering end.. I, partially hate what I've done, i, hate what i may have become. But maybe that just goes to show?

Do i even deserve that person? Even after trying my best, to be the best version of myself for them, is this my final straw? 

I was lost in my thoughts, i cannot breathe, i cannot talk, i cannot move my jaw.

Maybe i am not as perfect as i thought, maybe i am just one big perfect flaw.