Vulnerable and Breathless

 It's not usually easy to tell that you've fallen for someone... until your heart skips a beat the moment you see them, you're out of breath the moment they cross your mind, you can't stop gazing them. Once they're always on your mind, it's the beginning of the end. They will never leave, not anytime soon at least.

Although you always had thought that no one would affect you in such way, yet here you are. In complete vulnerability towards that person. No matter how much you try to convince yourself, "They don't like me", "it's not like that", "i don't stand a chance", "why would it ever be me?", "this is a waste of time", "it's too good to be true". Yet you know how it works, the brain and the heart always have to contradict one another.

You have your guards up for everyone, except that one person. You can not resist them, the thought of them, their smile, their eyes, you simply can not get over the idea of them, you are walking on air just because they exist. Let that sink in. 

With that said, you are officially vulnerable. You lose words when you see them, you stutter at the simplest of questions, you overthink every single word, action, gesture, body expression, down to the tiniest detail.

You lose thoughts when they talk to you, you run out of words to say, your emotions are crashing, you are nervous, you are happy, you are having too many feelings to process, too many thoughts to think, too many things to say, zero chance to do so. You feel restrained, choked, held captive. "This is too much weight" you say, "I don't need this baggage' you think. Yet you can not change the way you feel or act towards them.

When you get worried about them, for the slightest of things. Try to be there even though you know you're unwanted. Rest assured that you have fallen for them. it could be great, it could be horrible. At the end of the day, it all depends on luck and how they feel about you.

Gießen, 24.11.2022, 4:20:24